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HI :)
 
Friday, December 31, 2010
Last day last day!
Another 3 hours and 40 minutes till 2010 is officially over~ I'm not exactly excited coz it's gonna be 2011 tmr, but I'm excited coz of next Thursday. Hahas.

And I didn't create my bank account today, coz there was simply too many people -.- So went over to the library to study instead. We chatted for nearly an hour, and we started doing work. After I've completed Genetics 1, Bryan had to go, so we decided to leave. And it was pouring -.-

So we took a cab, Bryan dropped off at woodlands interchange while I went back home lo! :)

Just now uh. I read through the notes required for genetics 2, and I got hungry, so I cooked maggie with egg. Now I'm just lazy and tired to continue doing my homework. It's New Year's eve anyways!~ 

Haha! Me and my excuses.. Anyways.. I am trying my very best to not let my imagination and emotions take control of me. They always make things worse for me. Like always. Hahas.

Wished that I could go countdown. I wanna go. But no one to go with. So.. Shall sit at home and watch TV! And stone!! And then send out my sms at 12 midnight! Though I think it would lag somehow...


Baby! You're a firework!!
I ♥♥♥♥ YOU!
Last day!
Ah. Told you my plans for today in my previous post. Gonna spend the last day of the year doing my homework. Sad right?! But who cares. HEHE! I'm not counting down anyways.

After talking to 2 persons about how I felt. I feel much better now. Like that relieved feeling you know? Hah! Just hopes everything will go back to normal.

In year 2011. I hope I can do the right things, that I won't hurt the people I love, and I will study harder. Hope that 2011 will be great. I think 2009 is much more smooth sailing than this year lo. Hahas.

I need to be stronger, and be happy! (I've like repeated myself for a billion times alrdy.)

Next Thursday is our 9th month together. Haha! First monthsary of 2011. Den Valentines' day will come soon. Hehe. And I think I need to go slp alrdy. Hahas.

I love you baby. 
Thursday, December 30, 2010
The tourist!
Went to West Mall with baby to watch The Tourist. It was alright luh the show. I mean like, really. The ending was unexpected too you know? So I think it is nice..

After watching the movie. We didn't know where to go, so I wanted to go home. But end up going over to his house coz my bio homework were still with him. Went over, we watched youtube videos. He searched on some ppl from Germany with defects due to nuclear bombing. Den watched him play guitar. And 2 hours just passed liddat. Den I went home lo! While he went jurong or something liddat.

Reached home, I bathed, watched TV, and I ate an apple, and 2 pieces of bread with ham in them. That was kinda my 3 meals for today. Hahas. Okay, excluding the potato chips I ate during the movie. :)

Gonna go meet up with the blogshop owner to get my necklace, and then go over to the bank to create my stupid acc. Den go study with Bryan. I'll try to focus.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I'm afraid
Smiling all day, today. But I don't really feel happy inside. I know.. I know... ( you don't need to know what I know. LOL)

Shan't expect anything already. I'm afraid..
Things that hurt
Found this on tumblr~~

  • Being unsure of how someone feels about you.
  • Feeling like they are mad at you.
  • Being misunderstood by people you care about.
  • Being judged by people you care about.
  • Feeling like you lost something that was never yours.
  • Feeling like you’re doing too much.
  • Thinking you aren’t doing enough.
  • Not knowing if you should say something.
  • Worried about what they’ll think if you do say it.
  • Feeling like you care more than they do.

These really do hurt. The ones in red. Ah.

Imma gonna be a person who appreciates things. Those tiny little things. I will most definitely die if I were to regret not doing things I wanted to do. Yeah! Another resolution to add to my list.. Which is idk where already. It is somewhere in my previous posts. Too bad, I spam too many posts in a day.

Woohoo! Ah well. I can see him ltr today, for tuition. 
Summary of 2010

Hmm. Let me sum up my year! Hahas. Since we'll be going into 2011 in 3 more days.

At the start of this year, I was so anxious about getting my O levels results. And I couldn't believe that the result slip was mine. But I was quite thankful that my last minute studying (I studied on the day I had the paper, every single one.) got me 14 points. Hahas. Thankful was I, but upset too. I couldn't go into NYJC. So, I decided to go to PJC.

Had like 2 weeks of orientation. Awesome or what?! Den my ah gong passed away. A terrible thing. Really. :(

Den school started. Lectures were so freaking hard to catch up to. Den I somehow got elected to be the CM of my class.

And something magical happened, I had a crush on Jeremy Chong Zhen Long~ Hahas. I was like talking to Julie and Lee Yuen about him. Coz I have no idea how he felt.

I remember, those times, I was so so happy to be able to go out with him, just the both of us, you know? hahas. That feeling was like, heaven-like?

Den he confessed in April, I did too. Our hearts raced like I dunno what..

Well. June came, holidays for us. Played for the first 2 weeks, and mugged for the next 2 weeks coz of MYE. But I have to admit, those times were enjoyable too :)

It came July, celebrated my birthday at ECP with darling. But a week later, I remember baby getting some illness that made him super sick :( He was still sick on his birthday.. But thank God he got better.

Oh. August & September were like mugging months I guess. Coz promos was at the end of September. We all got back our results during Mid Nov ba. And We were over and done with for PW! Hahas.

My r/s got super rocky. Like seriously. It just settled down a little, just today.. Hoping that everything will be alright :)

Actually. I feel that this year had been eventful. I always had one regret, not studying harder for my O levels last year. But come to think of it. Without my laziness, I wouldn't have met the people I have met today. Wouldn't be in a r/s right now. And I most definitely would not know how to treasure what I have.

Hopefully this year has made me a stronger person.. I know I cried a lot this year. But. It just shows that I care, right? hahas.

But I most definitely have not become more hardworking. I think I am still as lazy. Like since the times after PSLE. haha! I need to work hard for my stupid A levels!~

Aye.. And I realised I couldn't act that I don't care at all. My heart would strangle me to death.. It happened for a few times already. I cannot feign ignorance. I just couldn't do it. lol

Ahh. Dear 2010, thanks for letting me taste the ups and downs, all in a year's time. Ones that I have never experienced before.. But I do hope 2011 would be better, coz it just means that there would be more time for us to do the things that were not done right in 2010..

Dear 2011, please be nice okay? :)

**AND! I like those heart-shaped marshmallows up there. So cute~**
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Relieved
I am feeling so so relieved now. Everything is alright already. Or at least I think. Haha! Yeah. treasure everything I have. Every single thing. Okay. I think I need to go down to the bank tmr morning. If not, then Friday morning.

Still do hope we can go to ECP to cycle cycle! The last time I went there was in July ba. So long already. :(

I'm gonna be a super contented girl now. Yeah~
Sian

Chill girl.. Everything is going to be okay... Everything is going to be okay...Things are going to work out.. They are. So smile alright? Hahas

But I'm still worried. :(
You..
I miss being happy. I really do. Maybe I just ain't being satisfied with what I have now.. We should be happy for everything we have.. But.. :(

Okay. Let me count my blessings.

1) I got into a JC (i don't rly know if this is considered sth good or not)
2) I got a boyfriend
3) I became CM
4) I got a boyfriend called JEREMY CHONG ZHEN LONG
5) I'm still alive
6) My bf is still with me..

Sigh.. But why am I still having a weird feeling? Like something is wrong/missing...

Baby.. Really. You are the best thing that has happened to me. You are the very first person that I got so attached to. Like I could really share every single piece of me with you. I could really be me me in front of you. And I typed double "me" on purpose..


But I don't know why luh.. I just keep getting upset over little things..It is like I really love you. But still want you to do more things to prove things to me you know? You understand this internal conflict thingy? I know you are special, you are different than any other guys I have known.. That is why, I refuse to let go, no matter how much I wanted to give up. I don't know if that is the case for you too..


But after I spoke to you... I'm so freaking scared already. :(
Just that everything changed, I need an explanation, I need reassurance, at least after I know, I'll feel better... Most probably..


You are only my second bf, but I still do think that you are the best.. Really.. 
Don't know if you'll read this..
I wanna hug you now, it's like I need you a lot these few nights. But you seems to be MIA-ing. So I just have to wait ba.

Dear me, do try your best to cheer up alright? No one will like a sulky you. What if he leaves you? See? Scared right? SO CHEER UP OKAY?! lol
Monday, December 27, 2010
One more thing..
Could someone please make me a pretty cake like that one in the post below below? haha! OMG, my English ._.
I told you..
I told you already. Maybe not everything, but I told you already..
Now I'm scared.. :/
I'm so afraid to tell you things coz I fear something bad might happen. lol

But now I feel better after telling you..Don't know if you understood. But I'm still waiting. hahas.

Really. A million reasons for me to give up. But there are a few reasons, those that outweigh the million reasons, which are enough for me to carry on.

Don't give up girl. Don't give up..
COOL!
This looks so awesomely cute!!!!!!!!!!!
I want!~
:(

Found this on tumblr:


I cry because I’m angry. I cry because I’m frustrated. I cry because I’m tired of all this. I cry because you don’t understand. I cry because I only have myself to turn to. & I cry because there’s nothing else I could do.


This looks superbly cute too! Awww~ My heart just melted :)
855th post
Me no like me no like -.-
I am bored luh. Told myself that I should start studying today, but nope, I woke up, and I totally didn't have the study mood. When I woke up, the first emotion that overwhelmed me was sadness. Sad right? :/

Before I sleep every night, I'd think of the past. Those memories, that just made me so happy. But.. I'll feel -_- again after a while..

oh my gosh. Cheer up Cynthia! No more being sad. No more!

Argh. No appetite again. Nvm luh! Don't eat lo! :)

What can I do?

我总是心太软，心太软，把所有问题都自己扛

I know it is supposed to be 你 instead of 我.. But oh well :)
Gosh
I think I need to think positive a bit. I feel like I'm being such an idiot here. LOL. I feel sick again. -.-

2 more weeks of holidays... 4 more days till 2010 is over. Hahas.

This year, started off fine, with me going to a new school and all. I loved the middle part of the year, with the love and the fun.

Towards the end? It sucks like shit. Like the mugging for promos part, the holidays taken away by the school. Oh that's not all. More things made me dread and hate the last 2 month of 2010..

Hopefully, 2011 will be better. First time I hate the end of the year so so much. Like seriously.

LOL! I sound like some kid on an emo streak, hating world, hating life. Gah..

I need to stop..

But I still feel lonely despite having...
I thought being a______d means you could have someone who will be there for you? Forever and always?

Maybe it's just me, over thinking things again. :/

*THINK POSITIVE THINK POSITIVE THINK POSITIVE*

Nope, actually this isn't working at all. I still feel sad. Blah blah blah.
Let me disappear for a while...

I guess no one would really notice, when I'm gone and stuff. Hahas. Wouldn't it be better? LOL

人本来就寂寞的
:)
I have awesomely lost 3kg. Hahas! Happy me!

But FYI, I am still depressed. TT

Feel like telling you how I've been feeling. But it's as if.. Nvm nvm.

我寂寞寂寞就好
这时候谁都别来安慰拥抱
就让我一个人去痛到受不了
想到快疯掉，死不了，就还好

我寂寞寂寞就好
你真的不用来我回忆里微笑
我就不相信我会笨到忘不了，赖着不放掉
人本来就寂寞的
借来的，都该还掉

Tmr will be better? :'(
blank

I don't understand. I really don't understand why. I feel like a stupid idiot. Waiting, wanting, expecting, getting disappointed, yet wait some more, want some more.

This is such a vicious cycle.

So many things I don't understand, I want to understand, but can't. I don't know what is the point anymore. Probably sit at the edge of my window. Maybe I can think better that way?

This sucks, really. My life. So messed up. So fucked up. How to not give up like that?

You'll never understand why I feel sad all the times. You'll never understand. I'm tired of trying so hard.

Everything is so different now. It will never be the same ever again. So fucked up. I give up already. Bye.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Note to self.
I am N_____G
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Argh..
I am shooo lousy >:|
Sigh sigh sigh.
Lol... Did you know what my horoscope read?
"Cancerians comprehends not so much the words that are heard, but much more the feelings and intent behind them"

"Cancer has difficultly trusting their lovers. They dont want to be hurt"

It is so freaking true leh. But why?! Yeah? I expect, I demand, I do give too, no?
Can somebody give me a freaking manual that teaches me how to handle love?
When I put in too much, I become fearful.
When I put in too little, I become upset, coz I feel bad..

Somebody teach me something. :(
I don't like this "i don't know what to do" feeling. Coz it seems like I'm always doing the wrong thing..

Ah. Nvm. And, Christmas is ending in 45min.
I wonder if tmr will be better. Hahas.
Want!!~
I want these. So colourful. So pretty.
Christmas night... Probably should sleep soon. Am tired from not sleeping enough for the past 2 nights
Maybe, I should just smile because today is Christmas? First time I am feeling so suckish on Christmas.. :/

ok. Smile~
Lol

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
Still not happy. But still...Merry christmas?
Friday, December 24, 2010
*o*
NO point sharing, when your listener don't give a damn
-_-

LOL! I'm feeling like this now. I'm feeling tired and sian to think too much now. Sad much

P.S. I drew this on paint! Lol. Eay what, I only need to draw 3 lines :)
-
Will you ever understand how I feel inside?
How I tried to contain my emotions within me?
How I feel so lonely at times?
Dislike.
This dog looks kinda sad or something right? :(

Kinda dislike festive seasons. Coz I feel sad! I don't know how to explain it, but yeah, overwhelmed by sadness. Especially this year.. Like with festive season, comes expectations, comes disappointments. Yeap, that pretty much is the skeleton of what happened.

Have been out from 12 - 5. Travelling here and there.. Alone.. Okay, I had my phone and my ipod. But... Aiya.. Forget it.

Anyway, Christmas is still like any other day ma. LOL. Same this year, last year, next year, to sum up, always been the same..

Having buffet at my ah ma house tmr afternoon, for lunch. Then, I guess, it's home time? Hahas..

So sad.. So sad.. I never really spent special occasions with a boyfriend before. But.. nah. I'll shut up.

And the stupid bank closed! -.- Have to like go back again on Monday.. Lazy to go back tmr, coz it's Christmas. Think it'll be crowded or something.

I wanna rant at my private space now. Bye. hahas
^o^
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!! :D

(this is an awfully short post, coz I'm watching videos now! LOL!)
Thursday, December 23, 2010
I wanna wish upon a star
Give me shooting star for me to wish upon..
I'd wish that I wouldn't have to go to school, and that you would stay with me forever.
I'd wish that I will be stronger emotionally.
I'd wish that everything will be better..

I really really don't like missing you :(
When I miss you, I'd feel so so so not good inside.
Did you ever feel that way?
Really, I'd wonder a lot, wonder if you ever missed me..

I want a shooting star. Coz I think I'm feeling really weird now. I wish I could rewind time. Back to June, when I loved every single thing. Hahas

Baby, hope you've enjoyed your day :)
So sad.
Whenever I wanted to cry.. I just wanted you to be here. But it always seems that you aren't. I guess I only feel upset at home. I wanna share my feelings with you. But I don't know how to..

I just wanna feel free to cry in front of you. But I don't wanna seem like a crybaby. Yeap. So i still do hold my tears in, in front of you like how I do, in front of the others. Haha

At least.. now we are closer a little. If you consider the day we had as us being closer. Not like what we used to. But better than the past weeks.

Yeah.
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Wednesday, December 22, 2010
TRON!

Met baby at 3 today.. And we went to Plaza Sing to watch TRON!!! We wanted to watch Hello Stranger at 4.20. But it was all sold out. :( Baby was like "hope it sells out" hahas. HE said it was a Thai movie, so he dun wanna watch. :(

Sigh. Hopefully, we can catch it soon.

We then walked all the way to Botak Jones, opposite Scape for dinner. Hahas. Had fun. :) Oh, the botak hamburger(or sth liddat) was so big, we couldn't finish it. But the mash potato was AWESOME!!!!!!!! I'm serious. It was awesomely AWESOME!!~

Ok. After eating, we went home~

Really had fun with him today. He was like so so high today. So cute~ Hehe.

Gave him his Christmas present. I made it to look super duper duper nice.. Ah~ He said he liked it. haha. :)

So tired now.. Gonna go continue watching shi nai du shen :)

I ♥ YOU JEREMY CHONG ZHEN LONG! 
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Eh?
Will be meeting baby tmr I guess.
He's gonna be busy :(

And I don't wanna do my homework. The thought of doing homework irks me somehow. Hahas
And I feel like throwing my phone on the fall.
What is the point of smsing? -.-

Nvm. Blogshop!~
Hopefully this is not some 三分钟热度 thing

I need to start doing my homework. But.. Nah! No mood to. Need to study with baby again.
sobs
I miss you terribly..
Monday, December 20, 2010
ZOMG
I am exhausted. I've been sitting in front of my computer for so long.. I've added loads of things to my blogshop! :D I'm selling loads of things now! Hehe

I've been missing him too lo. I was updating my blogshop and looking at my phone to see if he has replied. Nope. No news. I don't know if he is okay :(
Ah, well, he will reply when he want to right?
But I hate this waiting! Haish..
Baby. I miss you :(

Click! ^
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Heehee
Just created a blogshop. Selling all my unwanted clothes for more space in my cupboard, ok luh, I have space, but I want more space, plus! I can earn money :D

marshie-mallows.blogspot.com

Hee. Marshmallows :)
ok. I'm bored now. :(
LOL
My youngest brother was playing with the bubble thingy. Something I played when I was younger.. So I asked him to make me one :)


And I pinched it to make it look like a heart shape!

and then, I burst it. LOL!!  But I think the heart that I made looks really cute :)
Oh no..
I miss you :'(
Morning!!

Good morning! Oh well.. It's afternoon already. I've been up for an hour and a half :)

Yesterday night, I have been thinking about you! Hahas. I keep thinking about you, you, and more you :/
And I was wondering, would you ever swear that you never ____ ____ ____ ___? On the other hand, I was like, you've already told me, ask for what?! So yeap.

And and! I'm buying another 2 shirts! I love blogshopping!
Fruitarian!
Am gonna eat apples for a few days! Please please cravings, please go away for a period of time okay? I've lost like a kg already, let me lose more more more! Den I'll look super awesome in all my new clothes!! And the clothes I'm gonna buy! Pretty please. So cravings, please go away for a while, I'm gonna satisfy you guys after I succeed k?

ok! I've got to have the perseverance, I must not give up halfway! Yes!

And my homework.. Aiya. See how luh!.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Gingerbread man!
I love GINGERBREAD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is so so so so adorable. :D

OK. I'm being random. I'm heating up the otah that my ah man bought from Malaysia. hehe. I likey.

I miss you :( Hope can see you 24 Dec! :D
Determined!
I am determined to go on a diet! Like seriously! A meal a day! With veggie(to make sure I get what I need) And apples when I need a snack! I die die must follow this plan! >:|

But whenever I look at tumblr, I get tempted. A good example is as shown below. :(

Now I crave for macaroni and cheese. I bet I can make my own. But but. :( oh ya. It can be my one meal! But my one meal cannot have too much calories ma. It's so saddening when you can't eat :|

Oh, and I feel like a pedophile posting pictures of children. But their expressions are (Y)

Btw, woke up at 9am this morning, met up with blogshop owner to pay for my necklace at woodlands at 10.15am, she was late for 15 min, but nvm. hahas.

Wanted to meet baby, but he had to have breakfast with his parents. So I went home and slept for an hour. Okay, half an hour. Then went out at 12.30pm to make my way to Yew Tee. HE WAS LATE FOR 15MIN! He only reached at 1.15 :(  Hahas! Nvm luh. Den went to Mac to do homework. I was doing chem, and I totally forgot how to phrase all my answers and how to answer all my questions ._. So disappointed.

at about 2.15pm, both of us stopped work. Got a little sian. I played minesweepers and some majong titans thingy. And we had to leave coz baby had to go to his ah ma's place. :( So sad, only got to spend an hour plus with him :(

Walked to the MRT station, when I said bye, he said "MRT haven't come yet". So I waited lo. Den I said I wanted to wait for the next train. While we wait, we looked at the MRT map. And I missed my train! lol. Finally, I decided to board the coming train, and the rain got smaller! Baby could walk home :)

Come to think of it, he's so cute. hahas. And seeing SzeMing miss her bf so much when he's in army, or so called ORD. He would call her every night, whenever possible. Ah. So nice :) *hinthint*

Hahas. I'm being random. I need to go and have my dinner, my porridge! Only had a piece of bread today, and went out and back twice. :/ And I passed the same people 4 times. LOL.
Hoho
I'm so happy bout the posts on facebook. I'm not gonna be emo! At least I'll try luh. hahas.

Szehui:
Wah, th very first number ah. Hope you will get first in all th other things too ;p Omg, i nowadays like keep fb-ing you. We should really chat online soon(: I think you are a very good lover and whoever thts with you is super blessed. But i hope you wont let yourself be taken for granted or get hurt alright(:

Swee Teng:
Hellohello jie! HEHEHE. Long time never hear me call you that le bah? XD I think you're an uber sweet girl! I hope you'll last long with your bf! Don't be so emo already! Let nature take its course! :) Hahahahaha I think after this sentence people will know who you are already but I still wanna say! Thanks for your guidance thoughout these few years! ♥ STAY SWEEEEEEET.

Yahui:
Great person you are, but it kinda hurts my heart when i see you sad. You are always emomomo. ): you should cheer up more, LIKE ME. and text me if you need someone to listen to you, cause i am always here for you♥ it will never hurt to share your troubles or anything with me aye! Stay happy cause you have a great friend here (:

Joreen:
0507? is it same as 507? hahas, anyway i miss you okay? seriously, i love the time we hangout tgt. you are awesome! :) hehe! shopppppppping againnnnnna!! :D ♥

I was bored. So I cpoied and pasted. :) Ok. Think I need to go to bed le. Have to wake up early ltr. *sulk*
So excited!
This face looks epic. Hahas. okay! I'm feeling so excited right now! Coz my blogshop items are finally gonna get mailed to me this weekend!!!!! I'll be getting them next week!!!! My bags, my clothes. So excited~~~ Hope they reach soon! I'm looking forward to my bags the most! :D

My bags my bags!~ I'm finally gonna have new bags! :D:D:D
Friday, December 17, 2010
Sobs
My head has a bump from yesterday. It still hurts :(
Go?
Go or don't go? lol.




Edited @10.10pm, I've decided not to go for the job interview already! :D
Scared
You know, at times, at night, I get so scared that I can't really sleep? I start imagining images in my head. I get really frightened, and I can't sleep. Why oh why do I get tricked so easily. I got tricked like twice already. Those scary faces thingy? Yeah. On tumblr, I was like looking at the picture, there was a red circle at a corner which has nothing, I looked a little closer and a face popped out. -.- Dumb lol.

Oh well. Agnes is so cute! When is there gonna be some gif of the cute chameleon in Rapunzel?
:D

I'm going for an interview tmr at Bugis. I have no idea what job am I going for. I only know that it is some sales thingy. LOL. Gonna work till the end/middle of next next week. Gonna be left with a week of holiday then. Shall finish my homework asap :):) and and, I'm not exactly that excited like shown up there, I'm still a little hesitant. ><

Shall start on econs today. :)

But is it really the right decision to go and work? I have nothing better to do at home either what right? Better to go work than let my mind go berserk right? hahs. I need to work work work, den got money money! :):)

But I won't have time to go out with him leh liddat.. :( how? :'(
Fuck.
I fucking hate him. BYE.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Afraid..
So afraid of being neglected when I go out with others. Probably the reason why I don't like to go out with ex-classmates/CCA mates. So now, I'm still in a dilemma, whether to go for SJAB BBQ or not.

Other than baby, jiawei is the other person whom I feel perfectly fine with. Wanted to go out with him this week, but he's in Taiwan :(

When I stay at home, I feel safe, I won't feel bad. Haha. Damn it, I'm having that mentality I had when in lower sec. :/

Note to self: Do not msg him ok? Don't disturb him.
I don't know.
Should I go for SJAB BBQ next wed? I don't know I don't know. And! I told myself not to eat dinner, I ended up eating a packet of roller coasters. -.-

Should I go for BBQ? It's super fattening.. :(

And I miss you... Maybe I shouldn't disturb you hor. hahas. Yeap, Shouldn't disturb you..
So many things I wanna do with you, but the holidays are ending in 3 weeks' time, and we have a huge pile of homework to complete. This is so saddening :( sobs
I wish..
My Christmas wish is for us to last, happily
My New Year wish is for us to last, happily
My birthday wish is for us to last, happily
My next Christmas wish is for us to last, happily
My next New Year wish is for us to last, happily
My next birthday wish is for us to last, happily.

Wishes do come true, don't they?
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes and trust. Close your eyes and believe.
But.. Open your ears and listen. Open your heart and love.
Haha
Woke up at 11 today. Saw my msges, and knew that there was no outing today. hahas. So, shall stay at home and stone! :)

I don't know why I put that picture of Agnes on top. She looks so cute. ^^
Oh, btw, I went back to bed and slept till 1.40. LOL. I won't be able to sleep tonight :(
And I dreamt of you for don't know how many nights already, today, ytd, the day before ytd. hahas.

I'm feeling rather bored now. Shall go eat my brunch :)
Slowly does it.
愈速则不达


It isn't love if you are not willing to give up your stupid pride for your other half.
AH?
Suddenly, I feel so suffocated again.. sigh. Why is it when night falls, my mood will go downhill? This is so upsetting. Do you understand the feeling you get when you want to do something to make yourself feel better, but yet don't know how to? And you can only sit there and just feel down all the way? Yeah. That feeling is total bullshit.

I really hope later, today's outing with Sherilyn and gang would be great. At least take my mind off stuff.

It is so freaking terrible when your mind tells you to do something. And your heart feels so freaking terrible. LIKE SERIOUSLY DAMN TERRIBLE?! Understand anot understand anot?! * SCREAMS* ._.

This isn't helping. Nope, it isn't, just feeling very 辛苦 that's all. 

In order to see the rainbow, you must wait for the rain. I'll see my rainbow, my pretty colourful rainbow, with loads of happy moments. Yeah? :)

Shall make do with my mood now. Toodles.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
We grow, we learn.
Everyone is growing, everyone is learning.
Heehee

I am bored.. And guess what! I didn't do my homework today! Epic fail. :(

I need to get my butt cracking. Not literally luh. LOL

I'm being nonsensical.
And I like the little girl's hair. So pretty. :/
Ah! I must stop being envious of people and things. I must be contented. Haha. Easier said than done :(

Crap. This week is going to be over soon. Although my holiday isn't that much of a blast, but at least I don't have to study right? But I'm only left with 3 more weeks. Sian....

I want a stayover! :/
Oh well, I guess some things can wait ba. hahas.
Doodoodoodoo~ Shall go alrdy BYEEE~~
tumblr.
I wish you had a tumblr, so I could know how you are feeling. And vice versa. Tumblr is never boring. Not like facebook.

Hee. But you have better things to do :)
♥♥♥♥♥♥
._.
Totally agrees! Like what has happened for the past i-dunno-how-many nights. Ah! But that feeling wil come back again. I know. :(

Now I shall just..

SMILE! Because, I'm feeling quite alright now. Probably due to the fact that I just woke up. Will go do some maths later or maybe Chem? Hahas
Horoscope :)
This is something I have found on http://fantasyworld.wordpress.com, it is on Melissa's blog :)

Cancer Woman

When she is in love, she will act both ways. First, she very shy and polite trembling to be near you and Second, Attach to you like glue and trying to be with you all the times. She will try to go home with you after work, or have every lunch with you. It is O.K. if you like her too, but if it is not the case, you will feel very uncomfortable. She hates to be talked about or gossiped by someone else. If she knows she will be very hurt.

In nature she is a shy type, except she has been influenced by some other Zodiac. She is not a brave or daring type, so if you like her then you better be the one who start first. She will not accept her true feeling, so if you like her you better tell her first. She is like a musical note always changes in tunes, so one minute she can be funny and cheerful, and one minute she can be sad and depress. Other people may think of her as “Over-acting”, or “Over-reacting”.

When she is depress, she will go out and look for things to make it up. She loves money, and thinks of having “Money” as “happy”, not as “God”. She will not look down at you if you do not have a lot of money, but she will help you make money, save money. She is not an extravagant person and sometimes will tell you not to buy her expensive and not useful gift.

She is the type who enjoys a long and quiet walk. Cancer woman is also influenced by the “moon”, so under the moon light she will be fascinating woman. She has a constant fear for many things. She fears of not being smart enough, not pretty enough. Even if she is not fat, she will not be satisfied. Assuring her of her look would help, because she can change mood 4 times a day. She is not stingy, but you will not surprise if you see she collecting old or broken junks.

She sees that everything is useful to her. She will find a way to re-use it again some day. She is not a jealous type, but possessive. The best part of her is that she will sacrifice everything for her love one with no limit. Don’t leave her in times of troubles, she will never forget it. She is not a weak type, even she looks like one, Example if you argue with her, and she might cry her heart out. Once you left, she will wipe her tears and start clean up her apartment normally.

She is a very careful mother and will look after her kids every steps of the way. If she is a mother of your children, you are at ease, but if she is your mother in law, you are in pain. Not to worry, this type of mother in law will not let her own daughter being an “Old mate”. She could be moody and argue with you in many little things like many women, but she always wait and want to take care of you.

If you argue with her and disappear a few days, she will be waiting for you, but not for long O.K. This kind of testing is risky, try not to do it. The Cancer woman needs 2 things to be happy which are “Work” and “Love”. He can be live in a dusty house, but she can not live in that same house with no Love.

The ones I coloured red are so true :) lol


Leo Man

He likes to comb his hair backward, open his forehead showing dignify facial expression. His eyes are sparkle, but slightly showing laziness. He walks firmly and slowly like a lion, confident and ego proud. Outside, you may think he is kind and gentle person, but inside he is a strong and secure person. If he is frightened, he will re-act and respond right away.

His words always seem normal but mostly imply “order and demanding”. He will not talk fast, or can not talk fast, neither walk fast. In a crowd or at work he will act normally, but not for long you will see him standing out of the crowd and be a center of attention with his words, or his action. You might think he is a shy guy, but deep down inside he wants to power over his family and his friends. He just waits for that right moment.

Do not take what is his, and do not order him, or else you will see a fierce lion. He respects elderly and senior, but will never bow down and accept like a looser for he will rather die than loose his dignity. He talks bluntly even on an occasion that he should not say such thing. He is a compassionate guy and always looks at other people on a bright side. He likes people to listen to him.

Even he has such a blunt and bold personality; he could easily reach his goal without making any enemy. Once disagree with him on something, he can be very up set like a rainy storm on a summer day. It will only last a short time, and then he will be back a cheery merry person again. He is a bright and witty guy, and he will not put any efforts on something that he thinks it will not work and waste his energy.

He is a good planner and can well manage his job assigned. When he gives order, he expects them to be carrying out exactly. He is the leader type that the followers love. He can give other people advice and solve problems for other people well, except his own mess. He can be easily hurt by other people especially if you do not trust or respect his ability. You could compliment him sometimes and make this lion be your kitty with no difficulty.

He is not a good judge for he listens to many people and tends to belief all sides. You can hardly see a Leo man with no woman by his side. If you see him alone, he could already have a love one in his heart, or just broken up with one. Because he is very proud, he can change many girl friends. He will do many things for the woman he loves, but loosing his face is not one of them.

Leo man can not live without love, because for him Love is a ray of Light. He likes people to rely on him, its make him feels “in power”. He may complaint if he is asked for favor, but deep inside he is happy that you asked him. If you offer to help him, he will refuse you right away. When he is broke, he can find money still.

He is not careful with his way of spending for he has fun with spending money and happy to buy what he likes. He lets other people borrow money from him easily even if he has no money, he will run to his friend to borrow money for you. He likes first class, first quality of everything. He can work hard like a mad dog, and sometimes can be lazy like a lazy sleepy cat.

When he works, he is very serious. When he parties, he can be a party animal. If he asks you out, you will sure have a fun and jolly time. He will take chance with his love life, so if you know how to handle him, you will win. If he is your love one, it won’t be a romance novel. You have to be ready to calm him down when he over reacts to small matters because your cool stability will control and ease his mood.

If you can not handle or understand him, your relationship will be like a demolition zone, an on and off relationship till all your friends tired to hear about your breaking up and making up. Beauty is always in the eyes of the lion. You have to be dignified to walk with the lion king. Your looks are part of his image and ego and he is very proud about it too.

If you want his attention the first time you meet, you better be astounding attractive. If you have a first conversation with him, you have to show him how much you adore his thinking. He likes to talk and not knowing that he likes to talk about himself.

Haha. This is his..

Oh well. I deleted the previous post, shifted it to my private blog, coz too much information and too much sadness. :)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Satisfied!
I went for maths tuition today, had probability. :) Still alrigth luh. After lesson, we went to PIZZA HUT! hoho! I ate curry zazzle while baby ate beef lasagne and then, we shared a cheesy lava hawaiian pizza. Actually after we finished our main course, and a slice of pizza, we couldn't eat anymore already. ><

Den we walked around J8, ok, baby went to watch Eclipse in some shop while I walked around looking for things. Yeah, after that, we trained home, the train was like super crowded I tell you! :<

Still thinking what to give him for Christmas. :(

You know, I'd look into the mirror, and I'd think "Why am I so ugly?"
Seriously, super ugly. I feel so teeny tiny (as in my self esteem)
But I should be glad I am perfectly normal and am not deficient in any way right?
Yeah, probably I should. But I still feel super inferior. Oh well...

Shall whine somemore some where else. BYE :)
Cravings~
I AM CRAVING FOR DOUBLE MCSPICY NOW!!!!!!!~

I'm hungry already. Damn it, damn it. Me cannot eat, cannot cannot. Argh. But I'll drooling now( okay, not really, but imaginary-ly) hahas

Watching BOF on channel U now.Lee Minho and Kim Hyun Joong! :D:D:D

okay, shall go and continue watching my show now :)

i AM CRAVING FOR PIZZA TOO! CHEESY LAVA CRUST!
Because, I've never tried cheesy lava crust before. LOL! Shall go pizza hut soon!
So much cravings now :(
Monday, December 13, 2010
Spam
I don't know this is the number what post that I've posted today. I am like spamming my blog huh. LOL!

AND I STILL DO LOVE THESE MINION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THEY ARE JUST SO ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!

Ok. Enough of the caps.

I WANNA WATCH EASY A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok. I really do wanna watch Easy A :( Heard that it is nice. And did I mention, I went to watch Bruce Lee my brother with baby last thurs. Well, if you are looking for action, there isn't much action. But I think the show is rather nice. It depicts the life story of Bruce Lee. There were funny scenes, sad scenes, a few fighting scenes. :) I'm quite satisfied with the movie, so, I have no idea why people only gave it a 2-star rating :(

ok. I'm gonna go watch tv! :D
:D
I've just finished my maggie mee!
Black pepper crab, koka!
Added cabbage and a hotdog. Hopefully it gives me all the nutrition I need :)
And I ate ba zhang this morning. Is it too much?
Haha!

I am bored! >:/
Shall go drink my yakult. Grape flavour!~ :D
---
Sometimes, I feel that I'm lousy, because I make people upset. :/
Please visit!



PEOPLE! Go to this website :) hahas. My friend, Joreen, just started it up. I think it's quite worth the money :) Do check out the instocks that I'm selling there too! :D
Should I?
I want the holidays to end as soon as possible. I looked forward to it, nothing came out of it. So might as well get over with it.

Should I private my blog?
no point asking, no one cares.

I am tired already.
If expression of how one feels is wrong, then what for make it public?
My private blog is now my sanctuary.
No one cares what I write, no one cares how I speak, or how I feel.
No one would scold me, get angry with me, or anything.

If you see this blog dying. Don't blame me.

But, I have had this blog for 4 years and 1 month already.
Shall think it through.
BYE :)

P.S. I am not emo-ing ok! lol. ^ this thing I wrote up there is not emo. :)

heehee. I guess, keeping things to myself, shall be the best choice. How naive was I to always confide with others, share every single bit with them, tell them everything. Some people cannot be trusted. Not everyone will stay by you. Not even the one, closest to you. This is a harsh reality. Believe it or not.

After I have decided to trust, so many times, despite of all the betrayals, this is what I get. I don't feel safe already. What for share, when, people don't care right?

And not everyone cares, many are just curious - tumblr(so true)

ok! Now I sound emo. Shall stop. No more sounding pathetic. lol

But there is one, who I'll trust. But I'm not sure if he'll stand by me forever.
I dreamt.....
.......ABOUT YOU! :D

Yeah. I dreamt about you. hahas.
I kinda forgot what the dream was about. I think it was sth related to Christmas. or sth.
Aiya, there was you in it luh!

You are like the only person, that I dreamt about, so frequently, or should I say, so many times in a year. heehee

Ok.. I'm feeling well. And I'm happy, coz I could fall aslp immediately after I went to bed at 3+ this morning :) But my right shoulder hurts :(

I am feeling rather sleepy now. TSK! But I'm not going to sleep, lest I can't slp ltr tonight.
I doubt I'll be starting on my homework any time soon..

AND SOMETHING BLACK JUST FLEW TOWARDS MY FACE! ._.
nvm about that.

Shall go be a patient little girl.
deedeedoodoodaadaa
didibodidibodibodidi <- some song, related to a cartoon about a purple wishing dinosaur. :)

Ok. Shall stop this nonsense and be a patient girl like what I've mentioned. BORED :(
YES!
^ I'm only showing it coz I feel happy, not coz of the "you mad?" part LOL!



First time, I feel that my holiday is not boring!
I am like so so so happy!

OK! This is like my plans for this week.
Today: Rest, eat, slp, com, tv, and STUDY!
Tues: Math Tuition + meet up with blogshop owner to pay $
Wed: STUDY!
Thurs: Outing with Sherilyn and gang (so excited!)
Friday: STUDY?
SAT+SUN: I have no idea. LOL
( and somewhere in between, he's gonna be overseas~ sobs :'( )

ok. Maybe it wasn't as packed as I thought it would be, but plans have not been finalised yet right?
OH! Gonna slot in time to go jogging with Bryan. HAH! Finally I'm putting some thoughts into action. :)

And the plans that I have made that involve studying, I really hope I can stick my butt on the chair and get my brain and hand working. I must, If not, holidays would end terribly and J2 would start horribly. :/

I am gonna really get my butt cracking and lsoe some weight!
Psst! I lost a kg coz I didn't eat ytd. :/ Bad for health, I know, but I had no appetite what! :D
And I won't become anorexic, coz I still like to eat, just reducing it though.
You know how much it is killing me inside?
I can't eat what I like.
Aye.. For a better looking me! FIGHTING!

Maybe go swimming too? oh come to think of it, running can help me train up for my NAPFA next year. sit and reach, incline -.- train train. Last NAPFA!

lalalala. I can't slp, still having a headache, but can't slp. Maybe, I should go try huh. Alright, I should. Hehe.
BYE!

♥ uoy evol I
I'm glad
Spongebob is so cute and silly. ♥

And baby, another of my friend just broke up with her bf, I guess her situation is pretty similar to ours? She has the same horoscope as me. lol. I guess she wants attention for her bf like how I did, and she gets upset easily too. ><

But I'm really glad that you didn't just give up, you told me. At least, you gave me another chance. ♥
heehee. I felt really troubled for the past 3 days, so I asked a few of my friends..
Some said bad things, some told me to hold on..

I choose to never touch the last option, asking for a break up.
Coz someone told me, if you wanted to break up, you wouldn't even tell me how you feel in the first place.
And I bet, you won't even tolerate me for so long right?

These are just like thoughts I had today luh. hahas.
Actually, I feel kinda sad not going for CIP today, coz I didn't get to see.
After what happened for the past few days, of coz I'd wanna see you..
Make sure everything is still okay.

But believe it or not, I'm afraid to see you. hahas.
Like really. ><

doodoodoo.
I loved your video darling! Although you were just playing the guitar, but you won't believe how happy I was to see you in the video. I got like so excited lo! haha. ><

So, I believe for you, I'd do it all over again. :) - Again by Bruno Mars.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
It'll be better!
对不起，全都是我的错。
但这一切都会改变，会的。
因为我爱你，同时也害怕失去你。
这滋味，你有尝试过吗？

有时候，我在想，你有没有和我一样，像我想你的那么多。
答应我，证明你还爱我, it's the only thing I ask for.

We will be better than ever! yeah?
LALA! Oh yeah!~ I typed in chinese again. LALA :)

心里还是有点不安

It'll be better! It'll be better! lalalalala.


SO CUTE~~ ^^
18! ♥
I'm gonna list 18 wishes/resolutions for 2011.
Yeah. I don't really look forward to 2011, but it'll still be coming, so heck with it! :D

1. Score As for my A level ( if not why call it A lvl? haha)
2. be HAPPY (this has disappeared for quite a while now. I must get it back)
3. Do my best in my relationship. ( I was and still am the cause of all the problems.)
4. Overseas trip with my friends! (Taiwan maybe? Idw go Genting/Cameron)
5. I MUST SLIM DOWN! I wanna like lose a lot a lot. (but I am lazy to exercise, help?)
6. Be more hardworking. (I'm a lazy girl, I haven't started on my holiday homework at all)
7. Be less emotionally-driven, like doing things according to my emotions. If I feel like it, I'll do, if not, then dun do. I guess You can call that being more responsible?
8. I must go for prom next year. I told Bryan to force me to go, if I ever say Idw to go. :)
9. I  MUST meet up with my friends more, Sherilyn and gang etc :D (this is getting tough)
10. Stop spending so much on blog-shopping. (but the things are so cheap! :( )
11. I must pass all my exams next year, with flying colours! (coz I love rainbows:D )
12. I HAVE to buy more POOH! I can't seem to find any cute ones around already)
13. I hope 10S02 will be closer than ever next year.
14. I must earn more CIP hours. Like a bit more. (it seemed so easy to get 100hours in sec sch)
15. I have to stop having negative thoughts. STAY POSITIVE! like SHERILYN! (honoured right! hee!)
16. I have to start putting my thoughts into action.
17. LOVE JEREMY CHONG ZHEN LONG A LOT!
18. still.. LOVE JEREMY CHONG ZHEN LONG A LOT A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥

This list is awfully hard to come up with. ><
But shall do my best to achieve them all! :D

<- so cute and colourful! I like! ^^
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