I miss you

<style type="text/css">@import url(http://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/697174003-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener("load", function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=37813351&blogName=Cynth%C3%A9ya&publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&navbarType=BLACK&layoutType=CLASSIC&searchRoot=http://littleofcyn.blogspot.com/search&blogLocale=en_US&homepageUrl=http://littleofcyn.blogspot.com/&vt=3225560572385347285" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe" allowtransparency="true" title="Blogger Navigation and Search"></iframe> <div></div>


HI :)		Profile: I'm Cynthia, 18 yr old, ex-greenwoodian; ex-riversidian; now a PIONEER in 10S02 TUMBLR / FACEBOOK / BLOGSHOP / TWITTER	November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 July 2011 September 2011 November 2011 December 2011 February 2012 tenS02 RS alumni 4/4'09 4/5'09 4/6'09 4/7'09 2/8'07 SJAB sec 4'09 NA'08 NC'08 S28 LYL s28 photos City Harvest Pastor Kong Sun Ho Guitar4Christ Cassie Crystal Elaine Erin Germaine Guo Hao Guo Hao :D James Jasmine Jason Jelyn Jia Wei Joanne Joreen Kim Pan Liang Wei Lin Yi Lun Yolandor Yu Jia Zi Yang :) w519 Amelia Benny Clement Hui Zhen Jeff Ngoi Talleah Tyan Huey Xin Ying Winnie Sharon Vivien Atifah Cynthia Ong Atiqah Brenda Bryan Christopher Isabell Jorene Ling Yuan Sakinah Sze Ming Yan Juan Yee Le Jeremy Jia En Jie Lin Linda Li Ting Melissa Meroshini Patricia Pearly Sherilyn Sze Hui Waiean Weiting Wei Bing Ya Hui Zhi Xian 5A'04/6A'05 Adeva Alicia Lai Allison Chen Jing Filbert Hui Ern Izyan Liana Janice Liang Wei Zong Xian	one blue apple by lemon; floral background crane/pikachu icon city icon fireworks icon navigation anything you deem fit.

	Wednesday, February 22, 2012 Unplanned for I'm the unexpected one. Is that why many things happen to me so complicatedly? Us... Why is it so hard for me to put across to you the feelings I still have for you? Why are there so many things that I'm afraid of? I really just wanna tell you, I wish I can stop holding back. I wish I could see the future, see if you would respond the way I want you to. :/ I'm the one who's not supposed to be here. I wasn't planned for. Maybe, all this would never happen, maybe, everyone's life would be better and happier.

	Monday, February 20, 2012 heartache Went night cycling on sat night. Damn fun and tiring! :) But then, I saw sth that I hated to see. You did sth that you stopped for almost 2 years. The monent I saw you do that, my heart just sank. I suddenly didn't feel like giving you ur present anymore, and I just wanted to give up hope on you. But somehow, by the end of the night, I still gave u ur present and still had hope.. But then, the thing is, when I woke up this morning at 3am, I was thinking about you, and I was super worried :( About you. And I was really scared that you would turn into someone I didn't know. You seemed almost the same, but the things you talked about.. were mostly about army and how much you love that place. You said there were a lot of pretty girls there. :( Baby, are you really changing into someone I'll never know again?? It has been really long since I felt like crying.. And this morning, I did. Baby, I'm really worried about you. But I know, it's your life and you are the one who makes the decision, not me, not anybody... But no matter what, I just want you to be safe..

	Wednesday, February 15, 2012 Ah boy! Ah boy! I miss you so fucking much right now :( I know I said I"m gonna slp like 40min ago, but then. I miss you :'( I really wanna just lean on your shoulders and let my troubles and tiredness all disappear. Nope, there's nobody around for me to do that to. People say "good things are worth the wait." Are you that "good thing"? :( Can't wait to see you this sat :) I have no idea who else is going. As in, other than you, no one else is close to me. I'm kinda afraid I'll be super sian during the night cycling. Coz.. no close friends = me shutting up. Yeah. emo nemo. LOL. Baby, I miss you. I really do. But when will I get to say that to you, and have you tell me the same?

	Nostalgic :( I was looking at the past photos on facebook. Then I realised, my pictures were like the same, serious! The peace sign, same side of the face, same expression. And my fashion sense was really CMI -.- My hair also cmi. Sigh. But then, I kinda started to miss secondary school. But as soon as I came to choir camp pictures, I realised I really missed choir, and J1 :( Choir camp was damn awesome, best time I've had. Choir was tiring, and the practices for Masquerade was crazy. But come to think of it, it was all worth while. :') But then I quit, yeah, that's the point, I quit coz I didn't feel like going anymore, and I quit coz I wanted to spend more time with him. Then, I miss year 1 out of so many other years coz I had the best experiences in year 1. There's like a surge of regret and disappointment when I think of year 2. I don't know how to put it in words. I really don't, it's like I feel that things shouldn't turn out the way it did in year 2. J1 was so enjoyable, busy, but fruitful. Year 2? Bullshit. There's this heart wrenching feeling in my heart. :'( Then, I miss SJAB :( We went through all the super tough trainings together, got scolded together, went for camps and CIP together, planned events tgt, scolded juniors tgt. 4 years.. Then I miss my dear Indonesian friends from Singapore-Indonesia camp in 2009. The last night was super emotional, we couldn't bear to part with each other. But then, what's the point of missing all those times? They've passed. Old friends move on when they meet new friends. Then you lose contact. I've never really stayed in contact with old friends. I have a feeling I kinda screwed up my friendships in sec sch. :/ Haiya, I screwed mine in JC too what. But still, I have a few close friends from JC. Guys friends are THE BEST! :) No joke! Less drama and stuff. But the thing is, nobody would wanna go shopping with you. To be honest, I hate talking to ppl who don't talk to me first. As in, if you make me feel like you don't wanna be my friend, I won't put in the effort to talk to you. Probably that's how I drifted away from my sec sch friends. Even if there's a tiny bit of discontent coming from the other person, I will shut up and not talk to person until he/she talks to me first. And if that person makes me feel like he/she really wanna be my friend, I'd tell them everything. Probably why I get betrayed so easily. LOL. I think I'm really dumb at seeing other ppl's motives. Forever dumb. ._. I don't even know if someone hates/likes/loves me until they say/show explicitly. See how dumb am I?! Yeah. Anyway, I wish times can rly stop in 2010. Now? I'm happy, working with a bunch of super nice and friendly colleagues. Though the pay isn't very high, but I have had a great time working with them! There's a sense of achievement after every busy day. And I've got my eyecandy at NuBox. As in, he's the better looking ones between the guys in StarBucks and NuBox luh. Since, I had nth to do at times, so I spot for guys. LOL But still, there are moments of sadness, moments when I really wish that you are still by my side... Meh.. It's 2.20am alrdy. LOL. Bye :)

	Thursday, February 09, 2012 Bliss Boy, did you know when you texted me today, I was damn happy. I'm not joking. I was really happy. We chatted so much through sms. Bliss <3 This seems all too real. Like the scene from 2 years back. Boy, could it be that there's a chance? Or is my mind playing me again? :/ But, I'm really glad you texted me, I really am :)

go earlier \|

Music Playlist at MixPod.com